Archive for April, 2010
Lately I have again been bitten by the porn bug. Yes, I read porn. I am especially fond of BDSM porn. I KNOW why- I have to many control issues in my regular life. I have to make so many decisions all day, everyday that at times I truly don’t want to make any more.
Plus having been raised with sex being a dirty word and the action itself not something that a lady does, or thinks about…! I have never been able to truly let go. unfortunately, what I want is to be dominated and while DH and I play at this a bit, he also wants to be dominated. Two subs…
I have toyed with the idea of getting a third party to train us both as doms and subs, but I am not sure that I could release my hold on my control with another person there. Although if DH was dominating enough to bring someone in and order that I allow him/her to join us… that is another story. Alas, would never happen!
What does it say about me that I would want to feel the bite of a lash on my ass and tits? That I would like to know how it felt to have someone that knows what they are doing hurt me enough to feel the pleasure it also brings? I know that there is a thin line between pain and pleasure, I have walked it a few times in the past, but never with someone that really knew what to do, and how to do it.
I have read that many women have ‘rape’ fantasy or ‘forced sex’ fantasy, but for us it is different that actual rape. Actual rape is about power and humiliation. Fantasy rape and forced sex is about being forced to do something that you wouldn’t normally do, when you have no choice but to respond to something that is being done to you. So if you are being whipped with your hands tied above your head, it isn’t your fault if your pussy becomes wet and drips down your leg. It is a response that is ‘forced’ from you.
Add a blindfold and you take away the knowledge of exactly who’s cock is in your mouth, your pussy or your ass. Or a combination of two or even all three! God, my pussy is wet just thinking about it!
However, I would NEVER tell my DH that this is what I want. How could I ever?
I want to have my hands tied above my head, standing with my legs spread apart, on tip toes. Blindfolded… Hear the swing of the whip as it sliced through the air and land on my ass… my tits… the lips of my pussy! Feeling the welts rise… never knowing where the next swing will land… with the occasional rub of my clit, the suckling of my nipples… then the whip lashing me again in a new spot. The feel of a cock against my ass, the head probing… Pushing inward… The slap on my ass.
A mouth suckling my nipples. Drawing them one at a time deeper and deeper into a mouth…. the sharp pain of a needle piercing my nipples…. slowly! So slowly… A nipple ring being inserted and pulled on.
Being laid across the bed, with my hands and feet tied, ass up so that my pussy is exposed. A mouth licking my clit, sucking on it, making it swell… A brief absence then the searing pain of a needle passing through my clit, slowly! A ring slid through my clit and sealed shut. A sign of ownership…
Sigh… I am dripping…
Shhh.... I have a secret 
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