Unlike the last two guys that I dated, Bobby had no problems moving the physical side of our relationship along. With in a couple of weeks he asked if I was a virgin. I told him technically no, but the guy I had been with was a virgin too and since neither of really knew what we were doing, I wasn’t sure it counted. (Forgive me Lee, but I knew that there was much I didn’t know, so much we didn’t have a chance to do!)
Bobby was sweet and very seductive. He wanted to make sure our first time was special. I remember that night very well. We had met in town at a game place we hung out at. He said his folks were gone for the night and asked if I wanted to go watch TV at his house. I knew what he was really asking. I was ready.
We went to his house, and headed downstairs to his room. Only place to sit was on the bed. There was string art on the wall… We actually started out talking, but it wasn’t long before I had my boots off and everything else followed shortly. It was the first time of many. But I am not sure that we ever again had sex in his house again. In his car. In my car. At the club. In the band room. In hotel rooms and eventually in our apartment.
Bobby asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes. He asked me to stay with him instead of going off to college. So I turned down 2 separate full ride scholarships. His parents were thrilled! They loved me.
Of course there were a few problems.
I went to a State Honors Musicians Program and was gone for four days. I came home in time to get ready to go to a Sadie Hawkins day dance. My mom told me that hours after I had left, she saw my Bobby practically having sex with some girl on the hood of his car in front of our regular hangout! I was in denial. I called his house and his mom answered. She told he that Bobby had done something, she wasn’t sure what, but he had been down in his room for the last couple of day, severely depressed. That whatever he had done, she was sure he was sorry for. I told her to let him know I would be there shortly for our date.
I got ready for the dance and went to his house. Went down to his room (his parents knew we were already engaged and as I said, they loved me). He confessed everything. ‘It was stupid. It didn’t mean anything. He was lonely. Etc.’ I wanted to believe him, so I did. We went out, to the dance. Had a great time. Went out to an abandoned field, off a back road, had a great time.
Things continued to progress. We spent all of our spare time together. After I graduated form high school, we moved into an apartment together. We both worked at his cousins sandwich shop together. The cousin asked Bobby to go and scout a location in another city for him. He wanted Bobby to find a good local, where he could expand and offered us the job of managing it. Bobby left for a week. We didn’t tell anyone where he went or what he was doing.
For some reason, everyone assumed we broke up. That is when the stories started. All of our friends seemed to have a story about a time I was in rehearsal, or out-of-town on a gig when Bobby was making out with another girl, or worse. I was crushed. I felt stupid. I was beyond hurt. I ended it the night he came back.
At times I still wonder if I did the right thing. Should I have believed all of those people? If he hadn’t gotten married within a couple of months after we broke up to a girl who was several month pregnant (he swore up and down the baby wasn’t his) we might have gotten back together.
I wrote him a note about 5 years ago, thanking him for all that he taught me and for all fo the good times that we had and how sorry I was that things had ended so badly for us. I sent it to his mom’s address, with no return address. I didn’t sign it, just and initial. It was however a custom-made card with an email address on the back. With in a couple of days he had emailed me. After a few more emails we became friends again.
We were both single, but decided to just be friends. Our time was past.
Am I sorry that we didn’t try again? No, not really. I meet my Donald and I wouldn’t have started dating him if Bobby and I started up again and I would have missed the opportunity to connect with the one person that actually gets me.
But that story comes later.
Shhh.... I have a secret 
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