Shhh…. I have a secret

Number 15 (or Why my parents thought I had lost my mind)

15.) Bob S. I met Bobby while out with some friends on New Years Eve. We went dancing at the only under 21 club in the area. He asked me to dance and we eventually started talking. He had a friend that started talking with one of my friends. The four of us ended up in the basement of the club (where the bathrooms were, as well as a quieter area reserved for sitting and talking, if you knew the owners) talking and getting to know each other. I was really naive at this point. There was a lot about the world and boys/men in general that I didn’t know.

Anyway, my friend and I went to the bathroom- yes together, it’s a girl thing- and when we came back we caught the end of a conversation that to me was just cryptic. “17 will get you 20” “Almost 18…” I had no idea what they were talking about. My friend later told me that they were discussing how many months sleeping with someone underage would get them.

Bobby and I started dating that night. He was older. He was confident. He knew just when to push and just when to pull back. He told me his history, about how he got married really young and divorced because she was cheating on him and how much it hurt him. How he could never do that to anyone… (Foreshadowing? Gee, you think?) He wasn’t sure that love actually existed anymore… I was beautiful and he had never felt this way before, even with his wife.

Heady stuff for a 17-year-old.

He met my parents and made slightly less than a stellar impression. Bobby had his own sense of style. Remember this was almost 30 years ago when bandanas were still just bandanas and not gang signs. We all wore them. I used to wear on as a belt. Bobby made wearing bandanas an art form. My parents didn’t understand what I saw in this bandana wearing, part-time working, little interest in education non-musician.

I am not sure what part of that bothered them the most, but I almost suspect it was the non-musician part. Crazy, I know. But music was a huge part of my life. Pop was a trained opera singer. Mom played piano. Older sister played guitar and sang. Older brother played sax. Younger sister played guitar, trombone and sang. I could play any instrument (except guitar) and sang. Bobby could play the radio. I think my folks were also concerned because he was older. When you’re in your 30+, 3-4 years age difference means nothing. At 17… it’s huge.