Shhh…. I have a secret

Present day, Sept. 19 2024

I came to the writing at the end of the previous blog. So many things have happened since. That story ended in 1999-2000. But the ending of it….

Once I discovered that he was living with that whore, and yes I will detail why that title is deserved in a minute or so, and had made the kids promise not to tell me that they had been there. Let me repeat, they had been to her house several times.

He took my 10-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son to spend time with his mistress and her kids. Who the fuck does that?

And he insisted that my kids LIE to me. Wow. What an example he set.

As to why I called her a whore? (I’ll refer to as TW)

Well, that is easy, just like she was (is? probably.)

She was a recent transfer from another band. Seems she got herself in trouble there. Big brass don’t take kindly to adulterers.

TW had returned from a stint in Korea (oddly enough she had been there at the same time as my husband) pregnant. She claimed that she got pregnant when she was home on leave (which they get a month of in the middle). She was pregnant with twins. I understand her husband was ecstatic. Of course the twins were born early, as twins often are. However, bigger than twins should have been as preemies. Somehow, he figured out that the twins weren’t his. He filed for divorce and transferred to another post as fast as he possibly could. She transferred to a post closer to her family. She promptly got into trouble and was forcibly transferred to Fort Sill. Apparently she was lucky. The reason she was transferred was not.

Long story short, husband was her squad leader, and able to help her career.

They had to fly to Michigan for a recruiting tour. Checking out the talent, etc.

I wasn’t happy. It was over our anniversary, our 12th. We were supposed to go out and celebrate. I stayed home with the kids, he went out with the other recruiters, got drunk, and slept with her.

Nice, huh?!

Not that I knew at the time.

This was near the end of Oct. ’98. He was working late a lot. But given the time of year, that wasn’t unusual.

At Christmas time, we took our kids to Kentucky to have Christmas with the family of our friends who went to Belgium. They flew home for the holidays and missed them horribly. It was a good time. But it snowed a lot. I mean a lot.

Nothing unusual during the trip. We stayed in their 5th wheel. It was nice! The kids stayed in the house with the rest of the kids. But people were in and out a lot. So, I was not comfortable having sex when the kids could run out and need us for something (which did happen).

I was not comfortable. He, well, he didn’t care. We got into an argument, during which he reminded me that once during our early, early times, I had told him ‘anytime, anywhere’. But god, I was all of 19 at the time! I had no kids and no real responsibilities. Now I was 32 and tired. And distracted.

He muttered something about kids not being a problem for other moms. I thought it was odd, but then we were interrupted. Go figure.

He kept working late after the beginning of the year. This was not common. It is a slow time for the band.

He was, well, bitchy and argumentative.

One day out neighbors had a fight, (it was a doozy!) and she asked for a divorce.

He looked at me and said, “What if we took our tax money and filed for divorce.”

I was blindsided.

Why?

He wasn’t happy.

Was there someone else?

No. Flat-out denial.

So, then what is wrong?

I’m depressed. Maybe just stressed out.

We could go to therapy?

No. We’ll be fine. I am just tired.

Tired. Right.

It was after that he had a squad member in some training course of another, and he needed to lend support at times.

Bought the toilet paper when the squad member got sick and was kicked out of the program. Delivered with the kids. I heard ‘male’ every time he said squad member.

It wasn’t.

He was ‘off’. Distant. Mean to the kids. Drinking a lot. I mean a lot. This was not uncommon with band units. Not at all. but more than normal, even for him.

I finally got tired of it and told to find a counselor.

He said no.

I said, basically, leave and get your shit together before you come back. The kids need stability and that is not you right now.

He left. He gave me the number of his friends where he was going to stay in case the kids needed anything. Packed for a couple of days and left.

This is where the fun really started.

Sarcasm. Really, I am very fluent in it.