Shhh…. I have a secret

This is a story I really don’t want to tell. It ends both badly and with my third greatest gift.

After we had been talking for a couple of months, husband #2, I guess I’ll call him ER, suggested that he come and help us move. I felt like I was out of options at this point. My folks were coming, but my dad was in his late 60’s and while still strong (I thought) there was no way that we could pack everything up alone, and frankly, I couldn’t afford movers. I know now that I could have contracted through the military to move us, but I did not know that then.

I dropped my sister off at the OK City Airport, then picked up ER at same. The next day we all started loading the moving truck. I had to leave certain things behind- they were to heavy to move or I decided the ex might want them, or I just didn’t. Things such as daughter’s water bed. The loft bed that had been built specifically for the son but was built in his room was no way short of dismantling it to get it through the door. He was over it at that point anyway.

We had a large yard sale the weekend before. Got rid of a lot of stuff we didn’t want or need. Made the packing easier.

Things I didn’t do, but wish I had…

Burned every stitch of clothing that he left- actually I wish I had done that when I threw him out.

Give away or got rid of all of his CD’s or books. I value both music and literature to much to do that. But, if I liked a CD, it went with us.

Broke/burnt/destroyed every single one of the things he brought back from Korea. I decided that wasn’t fair to the kids. I kept them until they were old enough to decide what they wanted to do with them.

Set fire to all of his music- same issue as with the CD’s and books. Value in the arts.

Anyway, we packed the stuff, loaded the truck, and put the spare car on the dolly. Since my dad wasn’t keen on letting the cat ride in the van or the truck, she got put in the spare car. Don’t worry; she had her kitty litter, bed, food, and water. Plus, it was just about the perfect temperature to ride in a car—except maybe through Death Valley, when my mom (surprised me) insisted that the cat be in the air-conditioned van.

And off, Dad, Mom, daughter and son went the next day.

Did the ex show up to say good bye? No, he did not.

He knew they were leaving and when. I made sure of that. He chose not to see them before they left. He didn’t see them again for 2 years, then once again after that, maybe a year later. That was the last time he saw them. 20 years ago.

So, I was left on my own with ER. We used that time to get to know each other and decide if we wanted to pursue a relationship. We both had an out. He had an undated ticket back to Oregon, and I had keys and my car.

In the end we decided we wanted to pursue a relationship.

We hung around, cleaned up and got rid of some of what we left behind in the move. Went sight seeing. I saw my lawyer and decided I missed my kids.

We left and drove my car back to Oregon. It took us four days. 2000+ miles.

We talked about everything. I thought.

We had a lot of the same values and dreams. I thought.

We seemed like a good match. I thought.

I thought wrong.

Hindsight is indeed 20/20.