Shhh…. I have a secret

My pregnancy moved along. I had a scare at Christmas time. I was bleeding and made a quick trip into my Gyno. All was good, but I needed to stay on bedrest for a few days. Good thing I had a week off of school.

But this did necessitate telling people I was pregnant. I hadn’t really wanted to until I had made it safely through my first trimester, but, oh well.

I started the next semester of school, and everything was fine, except I was exhausted! I was driving 30 miles one way to school, the after a full day, driving home and roads that were either twisty or straight, depending on where I was on route. I started taking blankets and pillows to school to keep in the car and napping between classes. It helped, and it didn’t.

Finished that semester and my spring break matched up with the kids. It was a week of trying to clean and have fun with the kids.

Then it happened.

I had just gotten home one day. I saw ER out on the porch. Something seemed off, but I had no idea what. He just glanced at me and told me to take the kids into the house.

I was confused. I mean I was going to anyway, we needed to put stuff away, but why did he want me to do it right then?

He just looked at me and handed me his coffee cup and said, “Please. I love you.”

Next thing I know, there are FBI and State Police on my front lawn and then porch.

Yeah, guns were drawn. A lot of guns were drawn. ER put his hands up.

Again, ER looked at me and told me to take the kids in the house.

The kids were crying at this point. Men with guns were standing on the lawn they play on. Of course, they are scared.

But, yeah, I wasn’t going to leave until I knew what was going on. I sent the kids in the house, but stayed outside. I heard the back door so I knew that one, or both of them had run into the backyard.

A couple of FBI agents walked up and introduced themselves and asked if ER was who he was, He said he was.

They asked if he knew why they were there.

He nodded, refusing to look at me.

I didn’t and said so. They asked who I was (like they didn’t know). I said I was his wife and I had no idea what was going on.

The FBI agent just looked at ER, and he shook his head and stated that she had no idea. Meaning I didn’t know.

FBI agent told ER to turn around so they could handcuff him and started reciting the charges: Sex Abuse of a Minor. Trading underage pornography online- (which with the internet made it across state lines, thus the FBI involvement). Possible creating pornographic content for trading. Giving alcohol and other substances to minors.

I think there were a couple more of them, but this was 23 years ago, and my memory isn’t quite what it used to be, plus I was 6 months pregnant, and pregnancy brain is a very real thing.

I was in shock. I really had no idea what was going on.

I should have known at that point that some of it was true. ER just calmly let them cuff him and put him in the back of the car. And they left with him.

I did the only thing I knew to do; I called my dad. It was probably a mistake, considering where he was in the Alzheimer’s sphere at that point, but I needed my dad.

Well, the police left, or at least some of them, and took their guns with them. The FBI agents stayed with me. There were still several.

My folks showed up rather quickly. They lived in the same area but a little way out of town.

I realized as soon as my dad started to talk to them that it had been a mistake to call them. I quickly had to clarify that Dad had Alzheimer’s and had no more idea what was going on than I did. I said I called so they could take my kids while we figured out what was going on.

One of the asked where my daughter was, they wanted a statement from her. I mean she was all of 12 at that point? I said she was probably in the backyard on the swings. She went back to talk to her.

I kept getting pitying looks from the officers/agents.

I guess, I can see why. I was 6 months pregnant and bewildered. Completely clueless as to what was happening. Probably, looked like a class one idiot.

Other than the FBI and the police on my lawn and porch, my husband being charged with… a lot of things that were just blowing my mind. I mean, they couldn’t be true, right?

The daughter came out front with the agent and she was crying. Another one had rounded up my son. We sent them both home with my folks.

Then I found out what was going on.

And it was a lot.

And the beginning of another nightmare.