Shhh…. I have a secret

Just a couple of secrets I have held on to for a long time and how I feel about them, I guess.

When I was pregnant with my eldest, the daughter, she was way late. I mean three weeks late. I know that my math is correct on that, mainly because I thought she was two weeks late and after the c-section, my doctor said that she was much closer to three than two. Wow.

But that’s not the secret; everybody knows my daughter is late for everything. No, the secret is that my mother-in-law arranged to be at the hospital when she was born. MIL was the alumni director at a college- the one I met her son at, and she arranged to have a meeting in a nearby town the night before just so she could be there. Now, this is 300 miles away from her house, and it was her and her husbands anniversary, not that he was given the option to come (OVER CONTROLING MIL).

Anyway, I check into the hospital at 7AM. My doctor decided it was time to induce labor because I was late, as I stated, and had none of the signs of giving birth. Started me on an IV. Broke my water and…. waited.

They started giving me Pitocin to help contractions start. And boy, did they. Almost immediately. Soon I was having tripling contractions that were not far apart. I mean, the triple contractions, a brief rest and then three more. It was exhausting. We did this for a couple of hours, and they figured that would be enough to get things moving and stopped the pictocin.

Then….. Nothing. No more contraction. No dilation. Just nothing.

So, back to the Pitocin. We did this a few more times, with the same results, with me getting more and more exhausted. At some point they had put a monitor on the daughter’s head.

Around 9PM she started to show signs of severe distress…. as did I.

The decision was made to do an emergency c-section. At 10:01PM my daughter was born. She had a healthy set of lungs! I swear she came into the world yelling “PUT ME BACK”. Any she is healthy, all the finger and toes etc.

Now here is the secret I have never told any one. (My mom told me about this much later and dad corroborated )

Both my parents and his mom (MIL) were in the waiting room. I don’t think my ex was in the room, he was squeamish and we didn’t realize that there would be a sheet set up so he wouldn’t have to see anything.

Side bar- They gave me a spinal block, in its self not a big deal. But, when you are having tripling contractions, are exhausted and scared out of your mind, this is not the correct time to tell someone “You need to hold perfectly still. The needle needs to go in-between the vertebrae. If you move, and I miss, it can paralyze you for life.” Yeah, that is NOT comforting.

Anyway, the doctor or nurse, went out to the waiting room to get the ex and announced we had a girl. Apparently the MIL was looking very excited until it was announced the baby was a girl. Then she made a face and turned away. the excitement was gone.

I know why. My ex was the only son of an only son. He was supposed to have the son to carry on the family name, and oops! A Girl.

This was apparently my fault. Except that it is the father’s contribution that determines whether the child is a boy or a girl. So, yeah. Not my fault.

I don’t think she was even there more than a few minutes after the announcement. I think she stayed long enough to see and maybe hold her, but then she fucked off.

My parents, well, they were not happy with her response. Honestly, I’m still not.

MIL never liked me. But for the 7 months that they knew about the pregnancy, when there was a possibility of a boy, she was at least nice to me. After the birth, things went back to the subtle passive-aggressive shit that she was really good at.

Another favorite: We went to their house to announce that we were engaged. The very first thing she said was, “are you planning on starting a family soon.” Basically, are you pregnant?

I just looked at her and said, “Yes, in about 5 years where we are both finished with college.”

I didn’t say that: No, not like your daughter that is married. Nor like the daughter that isn’t married and pregnant.

I could have, but I didn’t.

And to add, just because I am feeling petty, I later found out that SHE was also pregnant when she married the ex’s dad. AND had been married before! And if the papers we found after she died were true- she was pregnant when she married him as well.

Stones and glass houses.