Shhh…. I have a secret

Let’s start with sex, which, of course, is related to the other two, especially in today’s political climate.

Growing up in the 1980s, I was taught that certain things were never discussed with people we didn’t know well and never at the dinner table, even if it was just family in attendance. These, of course, were Religion, politics, and sex. This has never been more important than now.

Gads. I try to stay politically neutral as a general rule, but I can’t now. That is when discussing politics, religion, or sex with the general population. That does not mean that I ignore the changes that are currently occurring.

As a woman, I am horrified by what I am hearing. There is seriously something wrong right now. The ability of older white males to decide what a woman does with her body is frightening.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are certain things I would never have done in the past, and I would not do them now.

I am pro-choice. I firmly believe that what a woman does with her body is her choice. However, I can not say that I would have had an abortion when I was still of the age to carry a child. But, having said that, I can understand that a pregnancy that started with rape or sexual abuse could impact the way a woman would feel about a child they are carrying. I get that.

What I don’t get is someone that is not going to raise the prospective child, nor have anything to do with the child, has any right to say anything.

A child, any child, is a huge responsibility. Raising one that reminds you daily of an incident that was traumatizing is not good for the mental health of either the child, the mother, or the mother’s partner.

Often due to this unexpected pregnancy, the woman (or girl, which is often the case in sexual abuse) is painted as “loose”, “immoral”, “asking for it”, or just slut shamed in general.

One thing (among others) that has always amazed me is how differently genders are considered. As teens, boys are celebrated by their fathers, other boys/men, for the number of women (girls) that they had sex with. Girls of the same age, however, are held to a different standard. If they have sex, lose their virginity, they are considered “easy” and slut shamed. And not just by the boys in the school, but often the girls as well. (Despite the fact that some of those girls are also having sex.)

It has always made me wonder how the boys that are having sex with the girls their own age (or younger) think that they should only marry virgins. Isn’t ridding their perspective schools/neighborhoods/cities of said virgins going to make this increasingly difficult?

It’s simple supply and demand. Often it is their demands that is decreasing the supply.

Or, even if they boy (man) recognizes that a girl (woman) has also had the opportunity to have ‘experience’, they are insistent on knowing the ‘number’ of boys (men) that had slept with previously.

This is where again, the girls number of pervious partners better be low, while the boys number should be high.

Now that as kids, we have been taught to expect a different standard from girls than boys. A girl gets pregnant in high school, she is ostracized. Does that happen to the boy? Nope. Oh, and she needs to prove that the boy id the father, after all if she is willing to have sex with him, why not others?

And better yet, if a girl is to take precautions, such as ANY type of birth control, she is a slut, because obviously she was preparing for sex. However, if a girl does not take precautions, she is still a slut.

Basically, teaching boys that, no matter what a girl does, she is a slut.

Now we are back to a political climate that is not only trying to infringe on our right to our own bodies, but seeds are again being planted that we are not worthy, or equal to men intellectually.

Nothing like going back in time a hundred years.

I worry that eventually we will, again, become second class citizens.

Amazingly enough, it wasn’t until the 1970’s that women had the right, or the ability, to own or control her own property without a man managing it. Nor were we allowed to apply for a line of credit without a male cosigner.

So a question that is becoming more than just an occasional wonder is if we are going to have to start the women’s suffrage movement again?

These are the thoughts that go through my head when I am reading the daily news (which both disgusts and terrifies me), during down times, when I am trying to study, or trying to sleep.

I am afraid of the future my children are going to experience and I am afraid for their future children.

This might all pass and life will return to ‘normal’. But at this point, what exactly IS normal?