Shhh…. I have a secret

Well, as the title suggests, I am back from my cruise. Actually I have been back for two long weeks.

Also had my surgery last week. Well, almost 10 days ago.

For those that haven’t been paying attention, it was a Radical Hysterectomy, including all the bits that make up a woman. Why? Endometrial Cancer.

Did they get it all? No idea. I am supposed to find Monday the 12th.

Am I scared? Yep. The doctor said that the surgery was almost boring in how easy it was. robotically done, no need for the big abdominal cut.

It still hurt, though. Not as bad as the one with the big incision, I’m sure, but…. Damn, I move the wrong way and know I have been stitched together internally. I am moving better. It is getting easier to get up and down. But some movements just are not good. Plus, not being able to lift more than 10 lbs. Bend over without feeling like my stomach is going to keep going.

Even getting into bed for the first week was interesting, as was getting out! Since I already sleep on my back- due to the last major surgery I had almost 6 years ago, that was no big deal. The problem is I don’t last long during the day without needing a nap.

And I hate it.

Too many things I can’t do. I like being fairly active; this sitting still business is nonsense. Especially after finishing a cruise where we were busy all of the time!

You would think that this would be the perfect time to really dig in and write my paper. You would be wrong. This is literally the last thing I want to do right now. I am having problems trying to concentrate.

I think I may have gone to long with out seriously working on my dissertation. I am out of the practice of writing things ‘on paper’. I still think about it, when I am actually conscious or not high on pain killers. But that isn’t translating to paper.

What I really want to do, is get back on that ship and sail again.

Having someone, shop for, cook, serve, and clean up all meals, including a nice variety! I mean who wouldn’t like that?

Doing my laundry. Going out dirty and coming back folded or hung? Yes, please!

Clean our room and bathroom? At least once every day? Fresh towels, bed made…

Yeah. That is addicting.

Coming home to doing it for everyone else, then having a major surgery on top of it? Talk about a complete let down.

Is it any wonder I want to go back?